untitled 2011

people come, people go.
every chances come,
and i just let go.
it was just not like being told
but its what i have known

you passed by me so swiftly,
without making a sound, and
i just ignore silently.
my heart was like just broken into pieces.
tears, angers, madness.
arent you being serious?

Last day of the year,
i fill it with my tears
being reminded what happened this year,
Thats alright, i aint fear.

Emoer

There's a feeling with me,
complicated one,
playing in my mind.
its like rolling in the deep in my heart.

I am now in a stormy ocean,
awe-inspiring wave laps my heart,
and my heart is eroded.
Sorrows washed even deeper.

There's a tornado inside me.
It swirls up the pains and madness.
It encircles sadness and sorrows,
which has been buried deep within.

The feelings are like lighting,
strike right on top of my head.
My body is numb,
my heart is palsied,
my mind screwed up.

I m now in a dark room,
where there's no light.
i shout, i groan.
i got no response.

Isnt life is beautiful ?
Indeed, because of God.

But theres only darkness now.
wheres my light? wheres my pride?
God, please show me the way.

11-14

thats right, my big day!
so? lol
birthday ended up in staying overnight in college studio, burn midnight oil... ...

no big deal, just a anniversary anyway :)
two consecutive years though.

Last year, i got a new set of curtain from mom, from sabah LOL
Pure white curtain, it just match my lil room :D
my mom knew me well. love ya, mom!

this year, hehe, imma wanting a new phone - galaxy note!!!
EXCITED!

5.3" super HD amoled screen, i just love it!

with its S Pen, i can now do anything with it too! hehe

hell yeah! its also available in white!! 

imma waiting for it :DDDDDDDDDDDD

On my birthday, 

i received hundreds of birthday wishes on facebook.

aww, thats sweet!

really appreciate it! 

i had a great day! thank you all :)

my 20th birthday wishes :

- healthy and wealthy ( for my family and buddies )

- be successful in my future 

- no more am chong :D

- better EQ control

- more confident 

enough, i aint greedy haha!

NOT THE SAME KIND

Sorry to end our friendship in such a way

we arent belong to the same kind, honestly.

i had enough of it.

imma kinda pissed off

and you ruined my day.

i do appreciate your help and advises 

imma glad to know you in my life

but things turned out meaning less as the way you despised people, as well as me.

perhaps your right, 

i cant bear the critiques and the way how people look down at me

so we arent belong to the same kind.

God created human with 5 fingers in a hand in different length

it reflects human being that we arent born perfect

a community is composed by different kind of people,

everyone posses different professions 

and this is what we call balance.

In 10 years time,

am probably 29 years old,

and lets see....

Imma not that clever yet rich to pursue my study in such classy and expensive top school,

but i believe that ones thought is more important than any others.

Ones may be poor to pursue education, but never be ceased to be ambitious.

am a small guy with great ambition

no explanation, time proves. 

good memories will be kept in my heart forever.

love ya, L.

Home sweet home

awwww
i am finally not-that-busy

have been two weeks
i never went home
dust were two-inch-thick
and hair were more than enough to sew a cloth LOL

i spent two hours to got them clean
my room is blink blink now :D

two week, two weeks....
i  got home sick  :(
finally,
i can lie on my king bed for a good good night  KAKA

standing at the balcony
i just love to stare blankly at the night view of kl
enjoying crispy wind blowing through my face
have been a long while too
i miss the moment of silence and being so calm

Imma so excited about the study trip to the national islamic art museum!
i love islamic pattern much
the strong symmetry, repeating regular shapes, sharp edges and they merged well into a great facade.
hehe

ciao, gonna finish up to the latest episode in the great moment that i having
good day, people :)

Piano

Remembering that when i was at the age of 16,
i requested my mom saying that i want to learn piano.
Without thinking twice,  she agreed. :D

I had 9 piano teachers. awesome right? lol
When i first started as a beginner,
i start from the most basic skills and theory.
I bought a few books, which is for beginner
and they are specially made for like kindergarten kids.
super big note which blinds also can see them LOL
with decorations of cartoons , big sun flower, singing elephants in myraid colors.
Kids love they definitely,   but i just hate them, LOL

That was tough when i first begun to learn.
Imma kind of person who is so impatient,
the starting lesson was bored to the core,
i wish i could jump directly to play something which is hard for me. haha
Imma just the one who always take the challenges. :P

Oh well,
God is seeing from heaven.
He knows what i want :)
So later after few months, i met my teacher - miss Ho
Shes teaching musics in university, and shes the boss of the Yamaha music school i attended.
She was great, she sees the talent and the passion that i have in musics.
She did actually arrange me piano exam for me immediately once she took after me.
Soon, i got my grade 3 exam with ABRSM board within 3 months.

that was kinda tough to jump straight away to grade 3, but i really enjoy it,
I was the person who sits in front of the piano , playing songs without day and night.
I remembered that my parents scolded me
because i dont even want to eat when i was practicing my piano  ><

After that, she arranged me for another exam, grade 6!
i got only 3 months time to practice as well
because i m short of time.
i knew imma pursuing further education elsewhere after graduating from high school.
i practice hard on weekends, its like, day and night practicing non stop.

lets do the short cut, at last,
my teacher advise me to go for grade 8 exam.
oww, am i so talented? aahaha!
but i believe that ones can achieve anything as long as one pay for it.
i did practice hard, i deserve what i got.


Miss Ho sees how obsessed am i in musics,
shes kind of person who appreciate those who are talented , and thats me ;p
she did actually arranged me to a orchestra which is conducted by her too.
by that chance, i got my self a violin and learn by myself at home.
I joined the group on weekends to practice and learn new piece of music.
that was hard, i have had almost gave up since am a self learner. uhm

However, the passions that i have in musics drive me to do more practices.
Practices make perfect.
By time passes by, i got myself very stable skills. hehe

I even got the chance to do performances for both piano and violin after that.
Miss ho did actually arranged me in a competition,
a statewide music festival competition organized by Yamaha.
( i barely remember the name)
that was really awesome!

Aww, thats too much things which is so memorable.


well well well,
homework started to become heavier,
and i was chosen in the 'excellent students program'  in my high school.
stress!! i need to pay 100 % attention on my academic performance.
end of story :( sad

i love music, i love music instruments,
i wish i could have time somewhat later
to continue playing music instruments that i like :)

Yamaha white piano 

i want this one in KL! uhm :/

Tiffany Poon , 13

i wish i could have a chance later, to do a performance, a great one like hers on the stage! 

perhaps i should study music after my architorture ? 

STRESS

GROUP WORK - SITE ANALYSIS

IMMA SO STRESS, I WANT TO SHOUT MY LUNG OUT!
THE FEELING WHICH IS LIKE WE DO ACTUALLY WALK TO THE DEAD END,
I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP.

I DONT FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING...
I SAT ON THE BENCH OUTSIDE THE STUDIO,
MY MIND WAS BLANK.

TOO MUCH THINGS, AND THEY DEFINITELY MESSED UP MY MIND.
I GOT MIND FUCKED.

I M A HUMAN, I DO WHAT A HUMAN DOES.
I NEED SLEEP TOO!

DEAR MY GROUPMATES, FUCK YOU!!!!
ONLY TO THOSE WHO DONT HELP.

忙-里偷閒

what a peaceful Saturday morning.

Just woke up on the chairs in college studio :/ 

oowwwhhhhhhh

3 consecutive weeks anyway... ... 

site analysis , building bylaw, presentations, long report writing, 3D modelling (much to learn yet complicated) , assignment and project.

everything comes in parallel :/ 

imma so lack of motivation yesterday,

seemed like i have done nothing at all.

but time pressure will resurrect my motivation, 

so just let it be   >. >     haha

i round and round in klcc like a mad guy with sports suit on

floor to floor, left wing to right wing, 

and finally i got this- the album which i have waited for a month!  hehe

lee hom is still the coolest ever!! :D

火力全开 & 依然愛你

two new songs were recorded in the album. 

that was awesome! 

TADA here you go his MV ~ 依然愛你 lee hom!! XD

great day onward :) 

Kampung Boy In Big City

It was on a rainy day,

where i and my coursemates in 4 heading to the city!

it was a last-minute-plan, and i always do last minute decision.

I wanted to do something when i feel like i want to do...

oh well, thats me - WhY   :)

Sushi bonanza @ sushi king - our first mission! :D 

we also plan to do shopping after that, snowflakes, chattime and auntie anne are all in the list! hehe ><

here we go first - auntie anne, chocolate pretzel 

hot dipped into melted chocolate,

my heart melted as well,

imma so in love, with chocolate ! XD

i hold in with both hands, 

chewing in mouth with some chocolate stained on my lips

i was like a kid, totally! 

but thats alright, i m still adorable ><

Pavilion!!See that? we walked from KLCC to pavilion. Guess what? we four run all the way long to pavilion in the rain! there was a traffic jam, and, seriously, if you were in the car, you probably seeing four hicks running in the city LOL   

But honestly, thats was such a great experience! it was godly awesome to run in the rain, especially in the city lol! BUMPKIN? whatever~  ;p

TADA~ here we are at Sushi king @ lowyat plaza

we queued up at the entrance and waited for about half an hour there, in the rain. 

guess what, we are definitely the hicks of the day!

with whole body wetted, we cut the queue! 

( that wasnt me, that was my friend cut the queue! ) ahahaaa

Oh pretty pretty Cheryl,
your just like eight years old,
and you talk talk talk talk... ...
you always act as we thought,
the cuties in the course :)

Cheryl, i treated her as a kid,
her actions, the way she talk, she react,
her laughter, her voice and the way she scream,
undoubtedly,  a kid indeed!

well, she brings us much fun in the studio! :)

The guy beside, Cajun, is her boyfriend.
Both them are like kids most the time.
What a funny couple ever. HAHA
Both tends to be have high jealous over each other.
Its fun to see them quarrel. ;p
They are just like kids quarrel over a candy from mummy.   hehe





will be updated soon, pictures were missing XD
stay tuned ><

Next : Analytic Composition

The project after the Food and Beverage Kiosk, - Precedent study in analytic composition

This the first stage of doing museum design ( i m so excited! )

There have been one week time, where i stay overnight in college studio again for consecutive days, once again.

I dont blame, in fact, the final product came out after my tears of anger, stress and yawn. EPIC lol!

I take major nap of average on 4 hours per day. 

That wasnt like i work non stop of course... 

i believe in God, but i dont act like God.

I need to sleep, eat, and have fun like a normal guy! ;)

and Finally,

 TADA~ here you go!  :) 

Milwaukee Museum

location : Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US

architect : Santiago Calatrava, Spain 

I was so touched that when the day of presentation came,

my coursemates lent me their helping hand!

there was like almost 10 of them help me to render and do final touch up before the presentation!

Suet Chui, Cheryl, Boon yue, Sarphile Cheah, pei jing, chia ying, au yong, ai ling 

those who are from group A, a big huggie for you all! 

i really appreciate it! 

Besides, imma also thankful to my groupmates : Jeff teong, parksern, chun ren and wen yun

Sorry for scolding and spoken inappropriate and hurtful words, 

oh well, i meant it by that time, and i never take back the words. 

I m such a bad guy who just scold to teach, i hope on the coming project, 

my group mate will definitely follow my steps.

I dont mean to be a leader, good one.

but i mean to be a good adviser in the group. 

I just want to be better, in anyway!

hard works pay.

Lecturer said : i cant figure out any other way out to have a better composition than this. 

i m glad! 

stay strong, even stronger and more independent!

i knew i can do it. :) 

Fight or Flight

( 6 Oct)
Architecture in torture


Architecture year 2 semester 2.
I keep reminding myself that, i m 20, already.
Architecture is a serious shit, indeed, its yet, getting tougher and tougher.
More stress,  less sleep and this is Architorture life.


Fight
Oh well,  i have done the project given in time with computer aided.
This the first time we were allowed to do it by using computer :)
I was so excited over the first project.
Fighting!! : D
I do always promise myself to do better in new semester.
I was poor in time management but,
I managed to overcome the problems this time.
*Clap    >..<



flight
I dont know why,
every time i stand on the stage or in front of public,
nerves all over my body started being tensioned.
I was trained , and being forced by parents to perform on the stage since i was in kindergarten.
The very first time, i talked in tears.

For the presentation this time,
i think, i failed to do a good presentation. :(

By my turn to pin up my work on the board, my hand was shaking like parkinson attacked me.
Both lil hand of mine turn cold, , temperature drop strategically down.
Imma freezing!
All the nerves and muscle in my body starts to become stiff and tension.
I m so fucking nervous!!! :E
I tend to be more nervous because of two lectures are actually sitting in front of me, just feets away!
They are like scanning me, from head to toe, then to my presentation board, and my model as well.
Their smile on their face is so malicious LOL 


Then,
my face started to become stiffen, i can barely move my jaw to speak.
"good morning sir......" just started with the greeting to my lecturers,  i got mind fucked! :x
Damn, i was frightened that time.
But no choice, i gotta continue to present my work, or else, imma gonna loose my marks! ;(


Thanks God. Although presentation isnt good, but i think they quite like my work? :O

AHAH! they praised me on i have done a nice design :D
The lecturers soon taken out the camera to snap my picture ><
i was like : OMG! are you gyus serious?!
i was the first guy who intent them to take out their camera and take my picture?!
omgosh omgosh!!! XD


Guess what, the course repesentative was asked to take the picture of me, together with my lecturers :)
That was great!
Of course,  i  received some comments too, negative one.
But we were given time to make good.
No more blame this time. i taken the critiques, as a lesson.
Small architecture, big knowledge. 

not the end

Everything will be okay in the end, if your not okay, its not the end.

I am truly not okay at this moment, these days... :(
Well, i know this is not the end.
"This is the part of parcel in pursuing study...!"
Oh well, yea, i understand, i knew!

I just need more time,
perhaps, i need to train myself so that i could do things faster?
well, i knew i got the potential to do a good job,
just for the time being,
i failed to do so.
 
However, no matter what,
nothing gonna stop me from doing the things that i wanted to do, except the time.

Time is cruel.
Time is fast.
Time is unstoppable.
Time is un-returnable.

Am not okay cause its not my end.
I endure, i bear, i stand it!
Be Strong!
I will!


 

Confident Not

A guy in 175 , walk head up , chest out.

Extraordinary and grabs attention. 

What a guy in confidence.

Oh well, that's me. 

Confident not? 

When i talking to foreigners and strangers,
 the confidence in speaking English,
undeniably fluent with lil bit of the western slang.  

Not a problem. 

With right clothes on and nice hair combed,
 i walk on street, i grab people's eye sight. 

Not an issue. 

Upon praised,
i gain confident from nowhere,
i walk like i were flying, and i speak like i were drunk. 

Enthused. 

Everything seems to be all right with my lil confidence.

Well,    * my favorite quot.*


There is always an exception 

Presentation seems to be a harsh truth to me. Its all about "showing-off" of yourself in public and i found that a absolute nuisance for me. My nerves all underneath my skins started to be so active like no one! Yet my heart pumps fast like dirty bits. 

My thought and speech jumbled. 

I was like a dumb who doesnt know english. screw myself.

It was not only happen during presentation, but also performance. I remembered when i was representing my music school to a statewide-competition, i was on the violin and recorder parts in the group. I can barely move my fingers like normal, and the music piece i play is in fast tempo. I did out of tempo, in acceptable manner.  But thanks God, i played it to the end with no clear mistake, but i did not do my best. i regret. i failed to manage my nerves. 

Another failure i experienced was the first casting i went to. That was a great opportunity i met to have such a chance to cast for an advertisement. I was informed like one week before the actual casting date. I m well prepared for that, i try not to be nervous, not to be shy and trying to be confident in all way. Well, when i stood in front of the camera, i smile in the best way, eye sight was sharp, too. But just a moment after the casting started, i found embarrassing to hold the same face expression, smiling into a convex electronic gadget. I was asked to repeat the same instruction for twice, and i knew my performance was suck to the core. BAD. Well, good thing is i learn how important confidence is. 

However, when it comes to singing part, my nerves do help me in achieve higher pitch range. amazing. So i now make use of my nerves in singing, and i m controlling them well, only in singing. duh~ :C

Yesterday, when i was presenting my design ideas to my lecturer, i found that i was still the same, being spoken in broken english, not even in a proper sentence. 

I knew what i am designing, absolutely, they came out from my mind! 

Nerves was the main problem, they lose control, once again!! 

My thought jumbled up, and not even a single term i could use to express my design and to defense the critiques even though i did present it in portentous and solemn manner, i did! 

But people would only think of me as a guy who poor in english, or  not a serious guy  or not well prepared for presentation. I am NOT!! 

Where is my confidence? 

If i were required to write about my ideas of design, i am sure i can do it well, just not in PRESENTING it. 

Theres confidence where theres no presentation.

My lecture was right, he told me that am a perfectionist. I spend much longer time than others do to complete a task yet lack of confidence in presenting ideas. 

Yes, i m afraid of being failed, i cant stand failure. 

My poor lil heart is made of glass, fragile, broken into tiny pieces upon being attacked.

I wish, i could be like a lil bit of being boastful rather than being shy to present.

confident not?

imma trying my best to show,

my confidence,

will be unbeatable, 

i yearn. 

enthustory

yesterday night, i was doing nothing on my bed before i sleep. Things came across my mind with an Ipad on hand, and i just simply clicked into Blogger and i read a blog. The post is about his achievement in his life.

I read through the post and i think its awesome! The things that he have achieved at the age of 23,i could never par with him. Amazing! Written in bombastic English, and every single phrases he written are well expressed. Such a strong enthusiasm and determined guy who born in a wealthy family, but never been spoiled by his wealthy background, yet it becomes his power which drives him to success.

what a great story!
Well, i believe in Newton's law, where it states that :
energy cannot be destroyed and diminished. Energy can be transformed and transfered. 

Now, the energy that i see from him, its transferred  onto me. Undoubtedly, he became the role model for me. I wish to be like him : handsome face on a nice body with a super brain.  Everyone yearns! and so do I!

Well, he inspired me to start thinking of what have i did achieved at the age of 20 :
 = started learning English in kindergarten  
 = advanced English in primary school and i have a strong foundation in English
 = started to study dictionary at the age of 17
 = not very well performed in academic performance, but once awhile i frighten       people with awesome works
 = being regarded as very smart people, cause i m too lazy. In fact, if i were
    hardworking, i m genius. ><
 = started to play music instruments in primary school, but interest in musical
    instrument is not being developed yet.
 = Started to learn piano at 16, and achieve grade 5 in 1.5 years, then i stopped
    at the age of 17 due to having a very strong determination in academic
    performance.
 = been selected to statewide competitions, not won, but i gained the experience
   and make my family proud.
 = self-learnt guitar, violin through books and online tutorial.
 = can play several musical instruments : piano, violin, guitar, drum, harmonica       and many else.
 = once a choir member, i can sing well >,<
 = study musics, i can conduct a choir and write musics as well
 = love design, and being agreed by many people at town, since i always do  
    design, regardless fashion, furniture, interior, building and etc in my shop.
 = i m too picky, who has very high requirement, always ask for the best one.
    this make me a good consultant and advisor.
 = been regarded as doctor of mind, good in giving advises :) welcome to talk to
    me if you got problem
 = have a extraordinary face with a western-like nose, the only problem is skin.
    duh~ :(
 = i dont have a driving license! and so what? ;p i m proud!
 = i started to earn money with my bare hand at the age of 17
 = i earned 3k+ by myself till now by working as part timer :)
 = i got very high potential in many aspects ;p
 = good command in english, people used to ask me : where are you from?
    I speak american-british-slang english :)

owh, too much , too much to tell. i aint satisfied with what have i achieved, imma looking forward to achieve more goals in my life, when i m still alive. ><

I was inspired, and i got clear and strong determination and enthusiasm.
Persistence, thats what i need in order to achieve what i want.
good luck and all the best, to you and me :)

New semester

new semester is just started, pity us as architecture students as we got assigned works in the first day.
Life turns busy in the very first week, what a great turning point from the leisure semester break to such busy, stressful study life once again.
Year 2 , semester 4, it means its getting tougher and tougher, but yet getting more interesting and fun. I really hope that i can find the passion i lost towards the architecture field once i avid.

Exhausted

Since Tuesday,26 April 2011, i have never been free after all.
Job briefing, gathering, working, serving, talking, i would say that i am almost busy to death since i do not have enough sleep these days. Well, being positive, i did actually learn something, met many friends and earned some money. I'm proud of myself in term of i can make money by my own, using the talents from both God and parents, :) Although i didnt hit the target during the HomeDeco Exhibition ,i felt guilty and disappointed  though, but i did explained well, and get quite a lot of customers for the company which hired me. Honestly, i knew it's hard to hit the target within the 4 consecutive days, ( as they're offering very attractive commission), i did actually passed some potential customers to other promoters, as usual as what i did in Pc fair which is held in the early April. Commission isnt a big deal for me, as i feel happy when others feel happy too :D

The guy who hired me to be the costume model last time, had finally banked in to me which is postponed for 2 weeks. Yeah~ i got the money to do shopping!! But WAIT!!!! i need to spend my bloody earned money wisely this time. Zara, TopMan, i wanted them so badly, doenst matter a single piece of clothe  cost me hundred bucks, i wanted them badly. Again, wait! when i was grabbing my wallet,  i think twice (more) about is it a must to own them while other friends around me are wearing unbranded clothes which thirtieth of Zara or Topman shirt? By the way, i m looking forward to purchase a DSLR camera and a desktop computer for my study purpose, but i havent buy yet. :<

There is a saying , money is all root of evil. True! So true i emphasized!!  With money, you can see through one's nature. This the most accurate and yet fast way to determine one's characteristics. Poor human... ...
Yes of course, MONEY, IDENTITY, STATUS are tempting., but as being a Christian, i knew what is lust and temptation since i was young. Being moderate is my characteristic, but somehow, when you got something, you will definitely wanting for more and more (we Chinese say 得寸进尺）

I'm seriously trying hard to be not that realistic, to adore or worship MONEY, IDENTITY, STATUS, FAMOUS and so on. In doing the same way, i found that, i can see the nature of someone while i knew someone since long time ago. There are too much to talk on the topic Money, Just too much, too much... ...

new bent towards Architecture

Semester break, somehow, isn't a big deal for us as being an architecture student.

Just the week right after the final exam, we are being arranged for a intensive Revit Architecture course which we are taught to make a 3D model using the computer. It makes our design job easier as help in visualizing the result of the design rather than imagine it. I found it was boring in the first lesson, since i am the one who can learn something in short time compared to others. yeah, i m impatient and selfish sometimes that i don't like to wait for others while i mastered the skills.  :x

I spend 2 days time to design my bungalow during the course.Unfortunately, the software was expired on the last day of the course, which means that, the work i have done using the software on that computer cannot be saved. I was like OMG~ and i was feel like dying since i do really designing it seriously. That's my painstaking effort as the outcome for the course i taken. Nothing i can do, so at last, i have decided to "print screen" of  everything i have done. From the first floor plan, second floor plan, third floor plan, four different elevations and so on. I knew i cant make the exactly design again over sometimes, so I'll be saving this as a reference and design a better one instead.

 

the front elevation 

 

the left elevation

the rear elevation

 

the right elevation

 

  the isometric view

 

the  iso-view after being rendered 

(looks more real and yet nicer ><)

 

another perspective view from the ground

Well, the bungalow designed is not done yet though... ... ><

I can do it better with longer time given, and i m sure about myself. (this is confident we called) XD

I m really in love with Revit Architecture, i am addicted to this while others are addicted to games perhaps?

N-E-W

I hope this would be the last blog i created, as i forgotten the password for my previous blogs. :S

The recent me - with a brand new hair style for me which never tried before. But i m thinking of dying my hair to some light colour which never dyed before too. :)

New semester (long sem) is starting on 9 May. Time flies, this the second year of my study in college. This means its gonna be harder, more stressful and yet challenging, but i m ready and well prepared for the challenges. I promise myself to work harder to impress the lecturers (i dont like my lecturers though).

Back in few days, I learn some lessons about being fake in social life, fake in term of being good in socializing among a certain  community, treating someone you dislike in such a good way that acting you do actually liking them. This is all about impressing others about oneself that is good enough to be a good friend in running a long way. well, I will try this out hard as i got a bad image in front of every lecturers who teaches me. :( thats too bad... ... but, this is just the one who i am (who cares)

Well, all the best to myself   :)